The Skinny Cow Times
Special Edition Issue 2024
Damn, this is one big issue
All I want for Christmas is a great pair of spanx
Things Santa and I have in common? A bulging belly, an obsession with Christmas festivities and of course, cookies. A cup of hot coco weighed down with a fist full of marshmallows would be the cherry on top of that perfect picture (lactose free milk though, because for some reason your stomach and back are against you in your 30s).
December is a month when everything goes. You eat and drink to your heart’s content and your stomach’s stretching ability. You care about the calories but you also want to be merry or be all YOLO (if you are still in your 20s), and everything else can wait till the new year since it’s your chance to reset. Till then, a good pair of spanx will sort all your problems, because they are afterall, like a big stretchy bandaid.
Things Santa and I have in common? A bulging belly, an obsession with Christmas festivities and of course, cookies. A cup of hot coco weighed down with a fist full of marshmallows would be the cherry on top of that perfect picture (lactose free milk though, because for some reason your stomach and back are against you in your 30s).
December is a month when everything goes. You eat and drink to your heart’s content and your stomach’s stretching ability. You care about the calories but you also want to be merry or be all YOLO (if you are still in your 20s), and everything else can wait till the new year since it’s your chance to reset. Till then, a good pair of spanx will sort all your problems, because they are afterall, like a big stretchy bandaid.
So, what makes this burst of merriness appear at the end of each year? Is it the finally bearable weather, our minds starting to switch off because workload could possibly be lower with half of the office switched off, or because we know we didn’t meet at least half of our new year’s resolutions so no point rushing
So, what makes this burst of merriness appear at the end of each year? Is it the finally bearable weather, our minds starting to switch off because workload could possibly be lower with half of the office switched off, or because we know we didn’t meet at least half of our new year’s resolutions so no point rushing into it now. We
So, what makes this burst of merriness appear at the end of each year? Is it the finally bearable weather, our minds starting to switch off because workload could possibly be lower with half of the office switched off, or because we know we didn’t meet at least half of our new year’s resolutions so no point rushing into it now. We
So, what makes this burst of merriness appear at the end of each year? Is it the finally bearable weather, our minds starting to switch off because workload could possibly be lower with half of the office switched off, or because we know we didn’t meet at least half of our new year’s resolutions so no point rushing into it now. We can just prepare a new list to stick on the fridge and gather dust shortly.
into it now. We can just prepare a new list to stick on the fridge and gather dust shortly.
can just prepare a new list to stick on the fridge and gather dust shortly.
can just prepare a new list to stick on the fridge and gather dust shortly.
it now. We can just prepare a new list to stick on the fridge and gather dust shortly.
I think for the last 15 years my new year’s resolution list included one point about losing 5-10 kgs. Clearly the saying ‘time is flying’ must be true, as 15 years have passed and the total weight loss to be made has now increased, like the inches around my waist.
But 2025 is almost around the corner now, the pyramids weren’t built overnight, so I can’t expect any miracles of an ab sticking out from that family pack belly of mine. Maybe I will hold off on the mince pies this year, said no one ever.
Our Christmas wish list has evolved overtime and is of course dependent on changing tastes, how deep or shallow our pockets are and what new thing or things we might not necessarily need but do want. All I wanted for Christmas as a child was toys, chocolates and to be liked by the other kids. When I got a bit older, I wanted things that the other cool kids had which we couldn’t always afford. In
Our Christmas wish list has evolved overtime and is of course dependent on changing tastes, how deep or shallow our pockets are and what new thing or things we might not necessarily need but do want. All I wanted for Christmas as a child was toys, chocolates and to be liked by the other kids. When I got a bit older, I wanted things that the other cool kids had which we couldn’t always afford. In 2024, all I want for Christmas is a really great pair of spanx, a vacuum cleaner that
Our Christmas wish list has evolved overtime and is of course dependent on changing tastes, how deep or shallow our pockets are and what new thing or things we might not necessarily need but do want. All I wanted for Christmas as a child was toys, chocolates and to be liked by the other kids. When I got a bit older, I wanted things that the other cool kids had which we couldn’t always afford. In 2024, all I want for Christmas is a really great pair of spanx, a
Our Christmas wish list has evolved overtime and is of course dependent on changing tastes, how deep or shallow our pockets are and what new thing or things we might not necessarily need but do want. All I wanted for Christmas as a child was toys, chocolates and to be liked by the other kids. When I got a bit older, I wanted things that the other cool kids had which we couldn’t always afford. In 2024, all I want for Christmas is a really great pair of spanx, a vacuum cleaner that sucks up dirt without costing an arm and a leg and a massage voucher to knead the full year’s pain and sorrows away like lumpy dough.
vacuum cleaner that sucks up dirt without costing an arm and a leg and a massage voucher to knead the full year’s pain and sorrows away like lumpy dough.
2024, all I want for Christmas is a really great pair of spanx, a vacuum cleaner that sucks up dirt without costing an arm and a leg and a massage voucher to knead the full year’s pain and sorrows away like lumpy dough.
sucks up dirt without costing an arm and a leg and a massage voucher to knead the full year’s pain and sorrows away like lumpy dough.
If you didn’t tick off everything on your Christmas, end of year or new year’s resolution list, that’s fine. You can kickstart it again at any time of the year, everything doesn’t have to wait for January 1st. We should add to our list though to be more and more grateful with each passing year for everything we had and have. Not everyone will be able to binge on festive meals, put presents under a Christmas tree, slow down at work, have cozy nights in and fit into last year’s spanx.
Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you all.
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